What is Coaching

What is coaching?

• Coaching is a collaborative process to create lasting change. It is an opportunity to give you the time to think about you; to explore your thoughts, feelings and concerns.

• It is a liberating experience to be given the space to dedicate time to yourself to express your feelings out loud in a safe, non-judgemental and confidential space.

• It is neither mentoring nor therapy but a coach can offer guidance and the process can be therapeutic. We concentrate on achieving mobility for you, while keeping an eye on the past.

• Together, in conversation using incisive questioning, a coach can help release your potential and find the way forward for you. There are a number of coaching techniques to breakthrough limiting beliefs and negative thoughts that may be long held to enable you to access a brighter future.

How can coaching help you?

Life can take many an unexpected turn. A once secure career can hit a crossroads; you become an imposter in your own life; or you may be facing a crisis of confidence about having to return to the workplace. Such thoughts may be clouding your mind. We have all faced some form of crisis in our lives and have had trouble finding our way through that.  Coaching can assist you to achieve clarity.

One of the biggest issues many have to cope with is the breakdown of a relationship or marriage. The impact can feel devastating in itself, let alone the ripple effect that can have on the rest of your life. The disruption felt by such a decision, be it your decision or another’s, can be very overwhelming.

As coaches we offer support to you through the process of separation or divorce.

When should I use a separation and divorce coach? 

• Stress impacts thought processes and inhibits cognitive function. Since separating from a partner is the second most stressful experience in one’s life, a coach offers a non- judgemental listening ear for you alone, when there is much noise going on around you. Just being offered the time to speak and be listened to actively, and not be interrupted or have another impart their own personal view on your situation, can in itself be hugely impactful.

• Coaching can be helpful at the start of your journey when you may be struggling with a decision to leave or when a partner has left. A coach can support you process your grief at your loss, a sad but inevitable consequence of a relationship breakdown and one that needs to be worked through to enable you to move forward.

• Coaching also enable you to have a better understanding of yourself and what may be a false but imbedded belief system that could be impacting upon your behaviour towards a loved one. When that is explored with a coach that may enable you to re-engage in a relationship in a healthier more positive way as opposed to feeling the need to leave.

• Coaching helps you be better placed to make decisions, to engage with your former partner in a positive way and be more open to and hear advice sought from your lawyer on their legal options.

• Coaching can be beneficial during the actual formal process of separation or divorce. Many emotional and far-reaching decisions need to be made and you need to be in the best frame of mind you can to play an active and fulfilling part in your chosen process to resolve your issues.

• It can be very hard to sit with your partner at a time of a relationship breakdown but, as we all know, it ensures a better outcome for all if you are part of that decision making process rather than leaving it to another to make the decision for you. That will enhance the prospect of reaching a solution for you and your family when working with mediators, lawyers or other dispute resolution services.

• Coaching can also assist at the end of the formal separation process in building up your confidence to face life alone for a while. It can help with accessing your achievements so you feel strong and competent to secure a job or start on a new career that may be needed to provide financial support. You and your coach together can help manage the many and varied emotions experienced in not living day to day with your children.

The answers to all these issues are within you. You have the ability to forge a new path whatever you may face along the way. The only expert in you, in reality, is you. A coach will help you navigate your way, explore the options and access resources deep within you to achieve your independence.

Article by Jan Galloway June 2023